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I Miss Everyone I've Ever Met

by Naturalist

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1.
Rapture 03:03
I’ve been thinking about death lately and if my soul is worth saving. Repeat after me, never meant a thing. I haven’t said a prayer since seventeen. Oh my god, I’m twenty-five. What the fuck am I doing with my life? Death is the awareness of a beautiful life and I’m afraid I’ve been dead this entire time. Goddamn, I used to be a better friend but now I cancel all our plans. Goddamn, I used to be a better man but now I spend most days in bed. I’ve been thinking about death lately and if my wife would still wear her ring. Would me friends forget about me when my soul leaves my body? If god exists, he is the reason that I’m sick. If I could tell him anything, “stay the hell away from me.” This water is my only relief, I’m baptized in my disbelief. I still obsess over things and soon you will get tired of my apologies. I’m sorry. I’ll say it again. I’m sorry that I’m sick
2.
I grew up a preacher's son, casting out demons as hymns were sung. I was born a drug dealer's son, left in parking lots as business was done. I was raised by a christian mom who taught everything good came from god. "You can be whatever you want" is a lie I've been told since I was young. I'm not afraid to die. I'm just afraid to live, to leave my soul exposed and to let anyone else in. I'm not afraid to love, I'm afraid to be loved again. Memories are my closest friends. I can't get comfortable in my own skin. My past still haunts my dreams, how everyone I love never loved me. Countless possibilities of conversations that have ended in apologies. I'm tired of singing of hospital beds and how everyone I love has already left. If god has abandoned me again, he has left unannounced with my closest friends. I learned I could more than myself, buried under blankets in the closet of my house. The same day I started smoking again, I broke down along with the tree limbs. Conversation pieces and handfuls of pills. It's been a few months since I thought of killing myself. Conversation pieces and handfuls of pills. Another excuse down the therapy well. Time heals nothing. It only replaces memories. I am but half a man plagued by regret and tragedy. Although I try, I can't forget. I miss everyone I've ever met.
3.
I gave my life to the lord when I was a kid, I haven't figure out what he did with it. The mud he carved me from was watered down, I have a hard time keeping it together now. I'm not ready for a new life, I'm not done messing up the one I'm in. I am a product of my own sentiments and I'm afraid of losing all my friends now. This is abandonment. You left me on my own again. But it's all in my head, I close my eyes to avoid the sunset. I self-medicate with nicotine and stress because when I worry, I know I'm at my best. And that's why I love you, I guess. It’s tiring caring about myself. I don't know if I'm ready to not be alone, there's just something about missing someone. It turns this house into a home, the reason for the burn in my cigarette smoke. I was seventeen when I lost my youth. It's locked up in my childhood bedroom. I fall in love with everyone I meet, it's not their fault I feel empty. It's when I call you at six am, because I need to go the hospital again. I can't feel my legs this time, it's serious. It takes a self-centered man to be this helpless. The night at the bar when you moved away, reminded me that my childhood has changed. Restoring to phone calls to ease the pain, four hours later and I'll be okay. I'm still learning how to be happy without someone else trying to convince me. It will all work out in the end, they tell me, and the hardest part is in the waiting. This is me as my whole world is turning. I gave up on myself, it was an easy way out. I prayed to God so he could save me. He never did and that's what scares me. You said I forgot about the scene. “Three local shows and now he's touring." I just needed a change of scenery. A place where failures wouldn't follow me.
4.
I’ve been thinking about death lately and if my soul is worth saving. Repeat after me, never meant a thing. I haven’t said a prayer since seventeen. Oh my god, I’m twenty-five. What the fuck am I doing with my life? Death is the awareness of a beautiful life and I’m afraid I’ve been dead this entire time. Goddamn, I used to be a better friend but now I cancel all our plans. Goddamn, I used to be a better man but now I spend most days in bed. I’ve been thinking about death lately and if my wife would still wear her ring. Would me friends forget about me when my soul leaves my body? If god exists, he is the reason that I’m sick. If I could tell him anything, “stay the hell away from me.” This water is my only relief, I’m baptized in my disbelief. I still obsess over things and soon you will get tired of my apologies. I’m sorry. I’ll say it again. I’m sorry that I’m sick
5.

about

"I Miss Everyone I've Ever Met" is a b-side to our latest effort "Friends", including brand new singles “I Miss Everyone I Ever Met” and “Rapture" as well as acoustic renditions of previous tracks. These songs are personal and intimate to us, less production, less distraction, more vulnerable and a raw look at our movement. We are moving forward, growing in our fans, growing as individuals, and as a group. We hope you enjoy these songs as much as we do!

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released January 22, 2016

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Naturalist Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Naturalist is:

Ashton Prescott
Hunter Amos
Micah Patrick
Joseph Tassinari

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